Sunday fun about New Year's Eve

As I probably won't have the time (nor the intention to) on New Year's Eve itself - I'll be busy watching the fireworks, to mention one - here are some funny thoughts and quotes about the end of the year.

To begin with...

On New Year's Eve, a woman named Marilyn stood up in the local pub and said it was time to get ready. At the stroke of midnight, she wanted every husband to be standing newt to the one person who made hislife worth living.
As the clock struck twelve the bartender was almost crushed to death.

Some quotes...

Now is the accepted time to make your regular annual good resolutions. Next week you can begin paving hell with them as usual. - Mark Twain

Youth is when you're allowed to stay up late on New Year's Eve. Middle age is when you're forced to. - Bill Vaughn

God, grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked anyway, the good fortune to run into the ones that I do, and the eyesight to tell the difference. - Author Unknown

The only way to spend New Year's Eve is either quietly with friends or in a brothel. Otherwise when the evening ends and people pair off, someone is bound to be left in tears. - W.H. Auden