My life with cancer

As today it's once more check-up day for me, I think back of how it all went.

Nearly two years ago, it was found out (quite by accident!) that I had a large tumor in my right kidney. After a couple of tests, the surgeon decided to operate. The operation went smoothly and my (large) wound over my abdomen healed well. I could leave the hospital after not yet a week. The following weeks I needed to regain my strenght (I could not lift myself up in those early days, because a lot of muscles had been cut) but I was not on any medication yet.

At the end of October I went for my first consultation with the oncologist. She explained everything and we both agreed the best way forward was to start with a course of Votrient (a chemo in the form of pills, because normal chemo or radiation don't work on kidney cancer)). At first I had to take a dose of 800 mg (2 pills) a day. These pills have a lot of side effects. I suffered most from nausea (until I got Litican) and diarrhea, but the worst was the pain in my feet. They seemed to burn from inside and whole layers of skin peeled off. I could not walk properly anymore, and had to do most errands by bike. Luckily the oncologist decided to lower the dosis of Votrient to one pill a day, and that helped. Combined with the intake of Probiotical my feet became quite normal again.

At first I had to get for a check-up of my blood every 4 weeks and for a abdomen scan every 3 months. When these results proved positive, dr. Bambust decided I only needed to come every 6 weeks and take 3 scans a year.

When they first contacted me with the news, I did not panic. I don't know how I do it, but I seem to take everything in my stride. I accept things how they are. I know you can't change them, so it's better to live with it. The only thing I did was make up a list of everything that needed to be done when I should not survive. I know my sister will be a total wreck when I'm not there anymore (we've been living together all of our lives) so she needs a guideline. She hopes she'll be the first to go as she realizes I can better deal with it.

Suffering from side effects of the medication was no fun, but I didn't let it decide what I'd do. We went on holiday just the same, but instead of walking we took a bus or a taxi to reach places. We went out dining and went to see shows or musicals, but in my handbag I always carry Imodium (against diarrhea) and I take an extra just to make sure.

Apart from these small discomforts (you learn to live with them) I feel quite healthy. I can do everything I like and I enjoy this. I don't think of dying, not more than anyone else. Who knows how long I still have?