To remain in the spirit of the season, here's a joke about going to Heaven - or to Hell?
female executive dies and meets St. Peter at the pearly gates and he says,
"You've shown an outstanding aptitude for making business decisions.
Choose whether you will go to heaven or to hell."
know!" she flounders.
you what," St. Peter says, "You can have 24 hours in heaven and 24
hours in hell. Then you have to decide where to spend eternity."
then," she says. "I'll start with heaven since I'm here
She goes in
the pearly gates and makes some acquaintances. They have a nice walk among
beautiful gardens. They have a nice quiet lunch. They have a nice stroll along
a pristine, white, sandy beach looking out on brilliant blue ocean. At the end
of the day she is shown to a nice room, and has a quiet meal on the balcony,
looking out over the setting sun and the ocean. She marvels at the scenic
beauty of heaven.
morning, St. Peter takes her to the fiery gates of hell and hands her off to
her to a power breakfast given in her honor. Then she is escorted to a tennis
club where she is greeted by her old boss, some co-workers, and previous
business acquaintances. She plays a few sets of tennis and catches up on the
gossip. At lunchtime her old boss takes her to a gourmet restaurant and she has
an excellent meal with vintage wine.
he takes her to an exclusive golf course and they play 18 holes of golf. She
runs into other business acquaintances and catches up on news and gossip.
he drops her at a spa where she is pampered and spoiled by beauty and body
treatments. When she is finished at the spa, an acquaintance takes her shopping
at designer stores. She picks out a fabulous evening gown, and Satan himself
takes her to a huge party with drinking, dancing, gourmet food, and famous
At the end of
the evening, a stretch limo drops her off at a five-star hotel. As she soaks in
the Jacuzzi tub, and sips the complimentary champagne, she ponders eternity.
morning, she meets St. Peter at the pearly gates.
have you made your decision?" He asks.
decided on hell," she announces.
it." St Peter waves goodbye and she reappears before the fiery gates of
she is teamed up with her old boss again, only this time everyone is wearing
rags. They are filthy, diseased, malnourished, and living in a barren desert.
They have to scrounge for food, water, clothing, even shade.
happened!?!" She exclaimed.
said her boss, "Yesterday you were a recruit. Today you are staff."